We’re forever getting calls from guys all over the UK especially London who’ve seen ‘our advert’ and want an incall booking, like straightaway. And its usually because they’ve spotted us on some shady platform that’s lifted details off of AdultWork without permission so they can gain numbers and attract other (paying) subscribers. Other times though, its for real. We get guys calling who’ve really done their homework; they’ve read every word of our extensive profiles, over & over, before picking up the phone. And even then, its often out of curiosity with no firm intention of meeting. But its our job to turn ‘wishful thinking’ into ‘wish I’d done this years ago’ hence the wording on our bio. Years ago we would have dismissed such people as dreamers, but with 13+ years experience under our belts as full time escorts, as well as Mistress &/or Master, we now know better. Patience & Empathy are the key words here. As professional escorts, we know its good now and then to consciously take a step back; its all too easy after a record month to think you’re invincible & ‘you’ve got it sussed’ only to fall flat the following month through overconfidence. Lost business can happen for all manner of reasons… phone calls where ‘you could have done better’ or could have ‘cut the guy some slack’ or even just turning the phone off early ‘because you’ve had enough’ which isn’t really an option when you work for yourself…its a fine line. Three or four losses can make a big difference to monthly targets. Targets? Yes, I’m afraid so. We run our escorting activities as a serious business, but hey!…that doesn’t mean we’re not fun; it just means we’re always at it, as well as on it.
So one Saturday about two months ago when Geeze was home alone, the phone rang, and it was a guy ‘who’d been in a busy club stood at the bar waiting to be served when…..’
I’m sure you’ve been there at some time. Customers two or three deep surging back & forward, jockeying for position, trying to catch the attention of an invariably stressed bar tender struggling to keep up. Staff no shows, loud music, multiple jobs to offset the cost-of-living-crisis, abuse, fatigue… all symptoms of a broken Britain these kind of workers are [sadly] all too familiar with… ANYWAY, getting back to our inquirer, Paul (we’ll call him for the sake of anonymity) told us, that in the middle of the mayhem, he felt a guy push hard up against him from behind, and he could actually feel his cock. Whether it was intentional or not we’ll never know, but the point is, it tripped the switch.
In common with many guys 40+, especially those in LTR’s where the sex has all but dried up, Paul had often ‘wondered’. Wondered what it would be like to see another guys’ cock at close quarters. To play with one perhaps, nothing too serious you understand, watching one another, or a mutual wank perhaps. Thoughts turn to the keyboard, to see what comes up in a browser when wifey’s gone to bed early and voila, the Pandoras Box is opened. Threesomes are top of the list. MFM’s predominantly, (don’t know the difference? Hop over to this page) but now and then there’s an MMF snuck in amongst the ‘related videos’. There’s an old saying ‘a stiff prick knows no conscience’, so ‘MR CURIOUS’ steps furhter out of his comfort zone and starts viewing male-male-female action; or cuckold porn for example. Still, he’s safe in the knowledge, that’s its just a fantasy, and NO HARM can come of it. And that’s true, no harm will come of it, even if he eventually goes all the way, and experiences it FOR REAL.
Why no harm I hear you ask? A number of reasons. Firstly, same sex desire isn’t abnormal, it’s surprisingly common. Sex positivity is the best word to describe it. Secondly, that desire is a little seed…in your brain; the brain’s the biggest sex organ believe it or not, it’s why porn works, or phone sex for that matter, or even leering/flirting, and that little seed will steadfastly refuse to GO AWAY until. Until you address it. If that’s you, its better to do something about it, rather than leave it, & suffer increasing agony & restlessness. Humans don’t like uncertainty. Thirdly, by taking action & actually meeting with others on the QT, you might just be saving a marriage that’s otherwise on a steady downward trajectory. The ideal situation obviously is to discuss such fantasies with your significant other, however, this isn’t always possible, or even recommended. In the latter case, it begs the question whether you should even be together in the first place. In reality couples often diverge, and grow apart from one another. Harsh criticism perhaps, but COMMUNICATION is key in ALL relationships; we’ve seen numbers of men now running well into four figures most of whom feel they CANNOT/DARE NOT reveal their true feelings to their partners. Other couples there’s a kind of ‘Don’t ask don’t tell’ rule…. dangerous ground imo, but it works for some. This is a subject we’ve researched deeply, and even have a website for; its all about loneliness in men, monogamy and CNM (consensual non monogamy). A lot of man are married AND lonely, and it’s a problem getting worse, not better.
The night club incident prompted Paul to ‘get off’ on his fantasy by way of porn, and that worked well for a while. But it wasn’t enough, hence the phone call. It takes courage for some guys to even ring in for phone sex, we get that, and I could tell Paul was nervous from the outset. But nerves & an initial struggle to find words soon gave way to more fluent conversation. As Geeze gently probed (metaphorically speaking), Paul revealed more about his ‘thoughts’. The initial call lasted almost an hour; it wasn’t dirty phone sex, just gentle discussion. He MAY have been masturbating towards the end, to be honest, I’d be surprised if he wasn’t but that definitely wasn’t his motivation for calling (free phone chat); it was more to verify he wasn’t abnormal and to inquire as to the best way forward for a man with his ‘leanings’. In common with many site visitors, he’d been following us for a while, and took notice of our extensive feedback, way more than most couples. He also noted that I was bisexual, not ‘bicurious’ or ‘heteroflexible’ which is what some couples advertise. What that really means is they’re trying to be all things to all people. In truth there are only a tiny handful of escort couples in the UK where the male is truly bi and versatile so #DYOR. He (rightly) felt he could divulge secrets and get an intelligent response. The problem for him, was that he lived 250 miles distant never venturing further north than Oxford.
Years ago we used to tour. But as most service providers will tell you, the ‘punter demographic’ has deteriorated, and continues to do so. Millennials & under now represent 50% plus of the group. Thirty + percent of GenZ’s are having no skin on skin sex whatsoever, preferring virtual, while average Millennial has no clue about how to communicate, & even when he does he demands EVERYTHING on offer PLUS a whole lot we don’t…… all in a fifteen minute booking. And he invariably wants it NOW. Enough said 🙁 Needless to say, as a result, touring can be at best marginal in profitability, and at worst, unviable. Some couples shag like bunnies, piling it high and selling it cheap, but that’s not our style. Never has been never will. Over the years we’ve invested in knowledge and equipment to cater for serious players, and most importantly, return players, the lifeblood of any successful business. I never forget a whizz kid Direct Sales manager lecturing me and a group of door knockers decades ago…. he said ‘twenty years experience can mean two things’. Either, a person/company has learnt from trials & tribulation over a period of twenty years and evolved, with success assured. OR, a person/company has been in business twenty years and learnt nothing, in effect duplicating that first year twenty times IE twenty times one year of experience. His reason for highlighting the difference, was to explain why some businesses survive hard times, while others do not. Food for thought, because unless you’ve been living under a rock, or you’re totally engrossed in the blessed football, it seems likely we’re hurtling forward into a depression to rival that of 1929. Buckle up. But with regard to touring, its not for us anymore. Far better to keep things tight, & concentrate on bigger bookings building on our experience, or equipment, or both. That’s what we’ve done this past four years, with a fair degree of success. After all, we’re still here, whilst a good many of the prima donnas have dropped off the radar. Instead of touring, regular followers will know that we offer unique bespoke bookings IE, custom bookings tailored to an individual where we do ALL the arranging; so basically we put together an incall local to a client wherever he may be; its the ultimate discreet tryst. Interestingly, most of the guys we see this way have NEVER BEEN WITH AN ESCORT OF ANY KIND.
Long story short, a few weeks later saw us heading down the A1, M1 & M40 to High Wycombe in Buckinghamshire to meet Paul.
Paul’s a British born Asian from Harrow, so the M40 was ideal for him PLUS there was a good bit of distance between the two locations. We chose a 4 star hotel adjacent to a shopping centre so he could park his car there, and not in the hotel where it would be clocked. Tiny detail I know, but oh so important when it comes to being discreet. You may remember the incident a few years ago with an MP nicknamed Vazeline…. he got caught with bis pants down playing with a couple of Romanian rent boys. Talk about judgment! Or lack of it… he was chairing a government think tank at the time looking into sex work! Maybe it was the stiff prick thing again I don’t know. However, when it comes to bespoke bookings we take care of all details so you don’t have to. Arrangements were made to meet initially in the bar. Paul liked a drink and told us he ‘wanted to get to know us more’ before heading to the bedroom. We spotted him a mile off, crossing the car park. He appeared younger than expected, confident & friendly looking, dressed casually in blue jeans & a grey sweatshirt, clean shaven with a bandana. We were pleased to see each other, after so many messages not to mention lewd images back & forth via Telegram over a period of weeks. The lounge was decorated in contemporary style, luxurious and large enough for us to merge in; three business people discussing deals to all intents and purposes. He wasted no time in offering to buy drinks! A couple of wines later we were leading Paul astray… along a maze of corridors and right angle corners, to a luxury King Room, or sort of… tbh it was a little disappointing; good condition yes, with all the trimmings, but still very corporate. The photos on the booking site were shall we say ‘manipulated’ making the room look bigger than it was… prompting Geeze initially to recheck the reservation. Usually, for bespoke bookings we book a full suite. It’s nice to have the run of a lounge and a bedroom, especially with cross dressers, who like big mirrors and space to ‘strut their stuff’ in private. This hotel hadn’t the suite option, a point made clear to our client who decided on grounds of cost to go with it anyway.
Paul sent a message the week before ‘Hey I did my legs, back and bum laser. All smooth’ We hadn’t known before then he may be a potential sissy, cross dresser, why. (Ha! Giving my age away there ‘why’ as in ‘what have you’, especially common in the small ads in Exchange & Mart back in the day) We replied ‘Does that mean we’re to feminise you? And turn you into a cock whore?’
‘Nice’ was his reply.
‘Actions speak loudest’ was our answer, accompanied by an image of a bum with ‘COCK WHORE’ written across it in red lip stick either side of a black leather strap attached to an anal hook. This kind of conversation we found interesting to say the least. Such people are high on the list of ‘men we like to meet’. With each passing day, the upcoming tryst with Paula looked more & more promising. And so it turned out. In the bar, she had been eager to tell us about a cache of new toys she’d bought for the occasion, thrown into a paper carrier bag. We could just see what looked like a butt plug and a dildo wrapped in pink tissue; once safely behind closed doors she took them out for us to see. At the same time we opened the lid of a mid sized suitcase crammed with goodies. She’d requested we bring heels, makeup, wigs, selection of clothes… we did just that. There was a TON of stuff; when we meet gurls we always strive to do our very best at feminisation. You wouldn’t believe how we can turn the most masculine of men into something way more alluring, It just takes time & experience. This was a bespoke booking so there was plenty of both on hand.
Paul had messaged two days prior ‘No problem I just want a good time, and walk out after saying that was money well spent…’
With the way things are going these days, its difficult to say whether ‘hundreds of pounds’ is little or a lot; it depends obviously on your status/perception. Hotel rates, food prices and wages have gone through the roof, and one of our failings over many years as a couple, is keeping pace with such things. There are escorts selling themselves short to keep busy. There are others (young part timer ‘professionals’ as they call themselves) coming in as newbie couples thinking they can charge outrageous amounts…clearly its just pocket money to them. As for us, we have to carefully pitch our rate somewhere between ‘affordability’ & ‘luxury experience’ In short, we feel compelled TO DELIVER…. something you’ll pick up if you study our feedback. Talking of feedback, if you’re new to all this, here’s a tip: on escort portals check the feedback of the feedback; it will often reveal the calibre of an escort’s clientele. Its one reason we insist on a phone chat before accepting a booking. If it’s someone we’re obviously not going to satisfy, we don’t take the booking. We’d much rather be in a position where we’re pleased to feel compelled to deliver, rather than it be a gun to our head, with probable negative consequences. It doesn’t work every time, but fingers crossed for most potential clients it does. You can get positive feedback from a hundred guys & people take little notice of it. One bad one though & you’re DONE; its the way of the world unfortunately. Value for money is the name of the game. We knew we could deliver and then some; the art of great service!
We had a handle on Paula’s anticipated wants/needs/desires so took everything we might need to assist us with that transformation. About three quarters of an hour after entering the room, we had her dressed up, horned up, and looking OH SO SEXY in tartan halter neck dress, black knickers, black stockings & suspender, black patent heels, red lippy, topped off with a Tanja feathered cut wig with fringe in dark brown. We’d tried a few different hair pieces, even a blonde one, but the dark brunette suited her to PURRfection. All the time the morphing took place, Geeze got more aroused. And so did Paula. Her clit was impressive, even more so being Asian; Smooth, perfectly shaped, and a good size; needless to say it wasn’t too long before oral on *her* began in earnest. She exuded sensuality. Funny, because we’d met another Asian once in Wembley, he too from High Wycombe. That meeting was memorable because it was SO sexy and sensual. Its well know than Indians, Greeks & Chinese have a different take on sexuality; ‘Going Greek’ is a turn of phrase I’ve long been familiar with & I’m often surprised at how few men are familiar with that term. TBF I/WE are often surprised at how very limited many men are in their knowledge & experience of sexual situations. If you’re reading this and think you may be one of ’em, then fear not, it’s our job to put you at ease & show you the ropes, if thats what you truly want. Sometimes, we get guys who say specifically ‘they want to get out of their comfort zone’. After all, life’s too short to put up with BORING or SAME OLD SAME OLD.
Paula had never seen another man’s cock let alone touched one. Minx gently introduced her to fondling first, before taking her under her wing & showing her what to do in terms of oral stimulation of a man. Geeze was throbbing. Seven inches or as near as, veiny with taut balls. Geeze nor Paula were pre-cummers (except in late stages); safe sex was high on Paula’s agenda, and rightly so; however, fellating Geeze to the max presented her with no problem. As in so many cases, I really had to ask if it was genuinely her first time….she was SOOOOOOOO frikin good at it. Geeze can control his orgasm, Paula wasn’t so sure, and several times she had to draw away sharply, close to cumming. She’d told us she could cum twice, but Minx had previously asked her when she last masturbated ‘This morning’ was her answer, so we thought it prudent to hold off to a degree in case she couldn’t manage a third. While Paula was being transformed, Geeze had gotten in the CD mode too, and dressed ‘adequately’ with some of the items left in the case, including a tartan skirt, Oxford heels & a long wavy wig. Really, I should have gone the whole hog, next time I will, nevertheless the mild feminisation was enough to induce lesbian play three ways. Minx got licked and pleasured, and it got quite intense with three-way kissing and tasting, & nipple play between the two CD’s, (both liked it hard)
Paula had told us she was tight. She also shared with us her concerns over penetration & possible hurt/pain. We assured her we knew what we were doing, she had nothing to prove, and we’d be gentle. I can see easily why some CD’s or subs get hurt…desire overrides reality; they crave penetration & signal they’re ready when they’re really not. So with Paula, it was a case of gently parting pert cheeks, pulling the knickers aside & firmly rubbing her hole with a well lubed finger then two fingers, similar to the way a real woman frigs herself. Only the very tips of Geeze’s gloved fingers actually penetrated her, but it was enough. She loved it, as most men do, once they’ve got their head in the right place. She wanted to feel my cock there, in place of fingers….rubbering up, I obliged. In truth I was longing to fuck that tight pert little hole, but managed to resist, choosing to carefully comply with Paula’s wishes instead. Deep fucking would surely come… ONE DAY.
Out of deep respect for our esteemed client I won’t divulge every last detail of this hot passionate tryst. Some things are best unsaid and left to the imagination. But it ended on a high. He’d ‘just wanted a good time, and to walk out afterwards saying “that was money well spent”…’ and that’s what he got…proof of that was him messaging; we NEVER solicit clients after meetings and some take that to mean (mistakenly) we’re really not that interested. It’s just us acting in a professional manner. Heaven knows who might access a client’s phone? But Paula’s texted us several times since, so here’s hoping we meet again SOON!
Are YOU a sexy mature guy with a host of kinks & fantasies you’re desperate to try? But you don’t think they will ever materialize? Some people say fantasies are best left as that, fantasies. We beg to differ, and not for mercenary reasons. So many times we see men light up once behind closed doors. It’s why we put ‘Wish I’d done this years ago’ in our ads…. because that’s the way it is #LifesShort
Wherever you are in the UK, (or selected places overseas) do something today your future self will thank you for and get in touch for MMF, MFM, cuckold/cream-pie cleanup, double dom, feminsation & cross dressing fun, electro, our kinky Pro Playroom & a whole lot more. We WLTMU, yes YOU!!!!
Luv fun50couple xx
PS: If TRUE fly on the wall accounts of meetings like this turn you on you’ll love our well known ezine, since 2016. It highlights the good the bad and the ugly of escort couple life, & includes commentary on over 65 trysts of all kinds. Just complete the popup or subscribe via the NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS description page. It’s FREE!