AUTUMN 2020 'NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS'
ESCORT LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

Hello Sexy Friends, especially those NEW SUBSCRIBERS who've come from Twitter @ScrewsViews our new account which replaces @fun50couple. Why did we shut @fun50couple Twitter down? Because we were sick to death of Twitter censorship, permanently restricting us to 3100 followers or thereabouts. It's something suffered by countless others...shadow banning got outlawed by the courts, so Twitter now censor accounts they don't like 'covertly'; by their own admission its a psychological game they play in the knowledge they'll wear you down and you'll go away. So did we let them win? I guess so, having said that, we don't expect them to tolerate NSFW content for much longer. The American government's pushing new laws through while 'general public' is distracted by the virus, making social media platforms liable for users content, so porn and to a large extent 'free speech' is under threat. We downloaded all 3100 followers and we're gradulally re-following them. The only reason we're bothering is because we're building a social media platform of our own, and we intend to open it up to NVS subscribers first for testing purposes. Hopefully @ScrewsViews will not be censored...we've been careful not to link it to anything directly advertising escorting. Ideally, NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS should have it's own domain, but costs are spiralling. We're currently running 8 websites and with income down due to the Covid hysteria it's getting harder and harder to keep the plates spinning. I always chuckle at that phrase...harking back 4 decades to Bruce Forsyth and his Generation Game...you'd see some contestant trying to keep 30 plates spinning on top of poles (of the metal kind 🙂 ); it got quite hilarious when some of them started to wobble like f*ck and the player had to dart between them like a blue ass fly...simpler times, and I'd say better ones too. However, we have to deal with the hand we're dealt and so far, fingers crossed, Minx & I have survived. Are we still escorting? That's for us to know and you to wonder....we're living in a country that's beginning to resemble the former East Germany and we cannot trust anyone not to 'snitch' on our activities or should I say our 'presumed activities'. 'Nuff said.

We've got a big vanilla project going that's showing signs of promise, green shoots if you like, but we've a L>O>N>G way to go before it generates significant income. You'll probably remember us sending out what could be crudely described as 'a pitch' for an investor to help us around 2 months ago. We had interest from a guy near London who told us he'd been thinking about meeting us for a while for 'fun' and as it happened had money available for investment; We booked a Premier Inn, one we've stayed at many times in the past. Big Mistake. I read today they're about to lay off 7000 staff. I'm not surprised. We're organised kinda people and we'd tried to call them the week prior to check on their current Terms, however the phone was never answered. What we eventually found was a stripped room, the restaurant closed, meeting rooms shut, we weren't even allowed to discuss business in the lobby, the bar was closed and you could only buy a drink if you bought food in the evening comprising basic boxed meals from a limited microwave style menu. Anyway, said guy turned up after texting us in the morning to say he had another meeting therefore the 'fun element' of our time together was cancelled, and so it would be purely financials. He'd agreed to pay a fee for the fun, which effectively underwrote our transport and hotel booking. Minx had to sit in the car (miserable day, pouring rain) while he and I discussed business in our room. Hotel management banned her from sitting in the lobby. The meeting went quite well, & I was hopeful we'd make something work; we left on good terms....he told me he had to travel to Scotland straightaway so off he went; Minx hadn't been idle in the car...answering calls from horny punters. We'd lost the investor's fee for 'fun' so being 'business people' we felt bound to recover it one way or another. Two intense meets back to back took us through to 2230, then it was Wetherspoons till 0030 and a drive back to the hotel in a raging storm with flooded roads. The day hadn't been easy. My smartphone started to randomly select characters rendering the device useless because I could neither log in, or access Apps including banking or parking. Saturday morning we had parking booked in Central London for the duration of a #KBF demonstration we planned to attend in Trafalgar Square. The miserable conditions at the hotel along with the phone hassles caused us to scrap plans to protest, and we headed up the motorway. Now I know many of you guys read this blog cuz you're fascinated by escort life. Let me tell you, a lot of the time it's HARD WORK & not the fuckfest you'd imagine. Like most businesses...it's long spells of graft with run-of-the-mill clients, interspersed by brief moments of intense euphoria. Truth is, working in the Adult Industry presents you with a lot of obstacles...things taken for granted by Joe Public are major hassles if you choose to make your living in the XXX world. Internet access is one. Our IP addresses are blocked by Premier Inn working in conjunction with the holier than thou Virgin. We can usually get round it using Vypr VPN, however, it ain't easy. Premier logs you off at 12 hour intervals, sometimes sooner, and it can be tricky to get back on, especially if you're tired and forget which hoops you need to get through and in which order. So when we returned from Spoons our internet was down, as well as my phone. Rather than fiddle with it first thing, we'd had enough hassle full stop, so chose to leave it. Minx's phone picks up AW emails anyway. We did at least get a decent brekky out of Premier before hitting the road. Fifty miles up the A1 just before Vanilla Alternative we stopped for fuel. Hmmmmm, no wallet. WTF!!!??? Minx phoned Premier. NO ANSWER of course. We ALWAYS check under the bed...can't be leaving condom wrappers or the odd nipple sucker lying around can we? That could potentially blow our cover! The wallet's black; we were tired. Somehow we missed it. Once we'd back-tracked, the hotel porter accompanied Minx to scour the room....they discovered it on the floor under the bedside table.

We work well as a couple, most of the time. Sometimes trivial things blow up into a row; other times when we're faced with STUFF that should RIGHTLY piss us off... like the missed wallet, it goes unchallenged...as if we're resigned to life's trials and tribulations.

It's a roller-coaster of a life. Our oversight added a hundred miles to our journey, so it's not surprising we were beat after 320 miles and a late night previous. Hitting the sack soon after our return home we woke on Sunday later than usual; nevertheless, Geeze, being the driven individual he is, left for Sunderland to work on street campaigning for our big vanilla website. He took one of our old Alcatel burner phones to maintain contact during the day. Eight gruelling hours later he returned, with the intention of contacting the investor. Thoughts had come to mind & he was pondering whether to email him or wait till he contacted me...Geeze didn't want to be seen to be pushy. Well guys, we shouldn't have worried. Firing up the big computer in the home office Geeze logged on to Proton. Top of the list was a message effectively binning us off as a 'prospect'. Apparently he'd sent 2 messages prior, one on Friday night the other on Saturday and got the ass because there had been no response. Geeze didn't argue the case. We'd lost the investor. Geeze could have fought his corner, pointing out we worked late Friday night to recover money lost from him backing out of the 'fun' part of our tryst. He could have mentioned the journey from hell home. He could have told him about working all Sunday in Sunderland promoting the very thing he was seeking investment for!! But he chose not to. The guy had made his feelings VERY CLEAR. Lesson learnt and a potential 20k cash injection down the Suwanee. [check that one out, fascinating link, AND we've been there!]

You live and learn don't ya. Successful people tell you if you don't get the result you're looking for, you should change your approach, otherwise you'll get more of the same. They also tell you that most people fail not through lack of ability, but because they give up JUST BEFORE success finds them.

Minx & I constantly talk about this. It's tough running 8 websites and as many social media accounts, a commercial office block, street campaigning etc and financing most of it through escorting, but that's OUR CHOICE. We just gotta keep the plates spinning. So, if you're reading this, and you too are thinking about investing in either an XXX project we've got waiting to start (which IS a bit risky I know) OR our big vanilla project which is up and running (& already growing) get in touch. We solemnly promise to ANSWER ALL YOUR FRIKIN e-MAILS tout de suite!

It's funny how things happen, and develop. Last night I was booked for an outcall with a 50 something guy we met a couple of years ago. It's the first outcall we've been offered for MONTHS due to the current 'situation' 🙁 🙁 apart from another to Redcar at the weekend which cancelled because the 'daughter had turned up unexpectedly'. Yeah, right! Some guys treat us as if we've just got off the banana boat. #justsaying. Would you believe, 50 something guy, who's fairly reliable came up with the same excuse...daughter had turned up out of the blue after a row with live-in boyfriend, plonking herself back with Dad who had been expecting a week's peace with a bit of 'extra curricular' thrown in while Mrs was on holiday abroad. So 2 outcalls down...see what I mean about the roller coaster world of escorting. #SexWorkIsRealwork. So while I'm away in the office working on websites, Minx takes a phone call from Kelly...a sissy slut who 'retired' from the lifestyle a couple of years ago to concentrate on hobby farming in his spare time at home in Yorkshire. The guy works in a VERY HIGH POWERED job, and is responsible for tens of millions of pounds spend on R&D. Many subs are like him; they seek solace in submission and KINK. He was (formerly) an EXTREME player and one of our faves. Long time NVS readers will have read about our exploits with him/her in the past. 2 years ago, (s)he invited us to what was to be his/her LAST MEET after 30 years as a kinkster, which we all enjoyed. Two solo meets followed, one with Minx one with Geeze, then we heard from him no more, until the phone call. To be fair, Minx & I predicted he wouldn't last...I seem to remember saying maybe give him a couple of years...and the 'itch' will be back. Kinksters know all about that. Once you're into it, it seldom leaves you, despite your best efforts. It's a bit like bi-curiosity...it never goes away completely, until you address it. Even then, it has a habit of 'popping up' again. Sometimes years later. So don't fight it. Go with the flow. What prompted Kelly to pick up the phone? It seems that while Geeze was out street campaigning in the NorthEast, Kelly walked right past him, without Geeze realising who it was. All the times we'd seen him years ago, he'd concealed his identity under a spandex or latex hood...there had been odd occasions towards the end of meets when he'd slipped it off...in dim light, so we'd never really got a good look at his face. When Minx told Geeze who'd phoned, it didn't seem to make sense. We've another client of the same name who lives about a mile from the kinkster, and Geeze had previously told Minx that Kelly's house had appeared empty when he'd walked past it. So Geeze had written Kelly off and banished him from his mind, assuming he was away living the life of a crofter, with his wife and their sheep.

You see, what ACTUALLY happened several weeks before was this....Reaching the end of the street where Kelly lived, Geeze (working with a team of leaflet distributors) noticed 2 men walking towards him, on the same side, about 20 feet apart, one behind the other. Geeze wasn't quite sure if they were 'together' or not. I've told you before in these blogs, sexy people identify with other 'sexy beings' almost subconsciously...it's their vibe, their aura. For a moment Geeze suspected the guy(s) might be gay. Geeze usually acknowledges passer's by as you never know who you might end up talking to, besides, there might be a sale there...it's something he's done for close on 35 years, it's habit...and politeness after all....'Alright?' he asked casually as the leading guy approached him. 'Yeah...everything's tickety-boo' the man replied. I smiled. It was hardly your standard answer. It amused me, and I just carried on, casting a look over my shoulder...strange bloke, but kinda nice too. I had NO IDEA it was Kelly, until Minx told me the story. Kelly had obviously recognised me, but I hadn't him/her. The empty house had 'thrown me off the scent'...I just didn't EXPECT to see him ever again. Fast forward and we were once again at Kelly's comfortable home. Many of the houses on his street don't have numbers displayed on their doors, so it difficult to find an address. All the homes look similar and the numbers run consecutively not alternately, so Geeze had mistaken #27 (empty) to be #29, our clients house. He booked us for an hour, but we stayed for 3. Nobody ever accuses us of clock watching! Between us, we had a ton of stuff to talk about & catch up on. Kelly's a client we just CLICK with 100%. So, do you wanna be a fly on the wall for this SCREW? I bet you do!

They say guys give the best blow jobs and I sometimes think that's right, though I did have one to die for once from a bird in Sheffield. It took place in an ally between 2 terraces on Guy Fawkes night with fireworks going off left right & centre. I'll never forget it. But that's  another story & one I'm not going to share, cuz she turned out to be a psycho. Back to Kelly. Our brief was to fuck as a couple and he'd be our cuckold, finishing off with a cream pie,; That's quite a common request. The night began with small talk and drinks. Kelly, like most bi subs, is a generous soul. He'd taken the trouble to have ready a selection of wines, ciders and soft drinks. You'd be amazed at how many clients don't even offer so mush as a glass of water...their only concern is THEMSELVES, whereas most kinksters seek to please all parties. That's one reason we love'em. Especially Mistress.

Seasoned readers will note this NVS is a slightly different format. We've jumped straight into Screws. NVS is about our life...and over the years we've changed. Starting out we were just a bi boy and a straight girl looking for fun and extra cash. We both LOVED SEX. Big Time. As business people with an eye for detail, we quickly realised there was a niche out there that suited us to a tee, so we honed in on mature bi & bi curious men. One thing led to another, Minx got more and more drawn to domination. Male bi-curiosity merges with cross dressing, feminisation, femdom, submission, humiliation etc, so it's been a wild journey, and a ride we're still not wanting to get off. We built our dungeon playroom, kitted it out with professional equipment and Minx morphed into Mistress Orchid the #TeesValleyMistress with help from a couple of top London dommes who mentored her for a while. She prefers the dominant role over escorting as a solo female escort; though she still enjoys threeways, especially MMFs, hence her involvement still within fun50couple. Geeze works more solo appointments these days too...it seems there's a shortage of reliable & experienced male escorts who CAN DELIVER a kinky full-on SEXPERIENCE. Most of the competition are massage merchants and/or part-timers. We don't want NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS to focus on MM or MMF sex exclusively. We feel it needs to continue as an entertaining but true account of two people working in the 'oldest profession'. Ongoing, we're probably going to turn the 'SCREWS' section into two parts....a meet with Mistress, and a meet with Geeze or just one with us as a couple. Would you like that? Let us know. Times change, and the Covid hysteria is forcing our hand. But it's helping too...as we adapt & consider NEW VENTURES. Stay tuned and don't worry, they're still mostly XXX. Anyway, back to Kelly.

Formerly, Kelly had always been 'dressed'. Tonight though, he was James, a stocky 'rugby player' type, in a kilt too...evidently there's still some of the Borders DNA within him, even though he now lives & works in Yorkshire. Interestingly, despite being an acclaimed academic James used to be a street fighter, truly, a man of many talents, with a dark side few would suspect. It had been a long time since we'd been with him, so first up was a threeway kiss. Minx was wearing a dark blue 'autumnal style' mid length dress with a golden leaf pattern. The dress displays her cleavage admirably, supported beneath by a black satin outfit with French knickers. Fine fishnets were clipped to a deep 6 strap suspender belt, complimented by 3" heels in a fashionable 'rusty' coloured animal print, fastened with 3 black ankle straps. Geeze wore a black business suit over a 'Gas Monkey' T. (Blood, Sweat & Gears) We knew from the past that curtains would be twitching from nosy neighbours, so wearing a suit & carrying a briefcase gave us the appearance of a middle aged business couple...which we ARE; only later in the meeting would we start discussing equity and finance! Deception & lies are always better when there's an element of truth. We're firm believers in the 'mushroom syndrome' (feed people shit and keep 'em in the dark) and just as an important tool to any successful escort as a top quality vibrator. Talking of which, we've just invested in a new Doxy. Hitachi have ceased production of their acclaimed 'wand' and while Lelo's 'Emma' has been FANTASTIC, it has proved temperamental in use, so this time we've gone with Doxy[pictured]; another bonus is it's 100% British.

Kissing gave way to 'touching'...Geeze found Kelly's crotch, and wasn't surprised to feel a heavy chastity device prominent beneath his kilt. 'You just can't wait to suck me can you James?' enquired Geeze. 'your's was the last cock I sucked...haven't been with anyone else since last time with yous' he replied, adding' or with female escorts either...' Hmmm, we felt honoured. Loosening the belt of his trousers, Geeze let them drop to his ankles & stepped out of them, to reveal tanned legs & a tight orange & pink thong barely containing his manhood. James pushed him back onto the sofa and fell to his knees while Minx went searching for another bottle of wine. 'That looks SOoooo fucking sexy, it turns me on.....' she announced upon her return,  watching Geeze in ecstasy, his legs wrapped around James's arms and back, drawing him onto his cock. James was like a man possessed, deep throating Geeze's 7 inches right down to the balls, repeatedly gagging but going down for more, and more, again and again and again. On previous visits Kelly had warned us against talking too loud lest the sound be picked up next door, but this evening caution got thrown to the wind as he literally gobbled Geeze's cock...it sounded like he was seriously ill bent over a toilet regurgitating a bad vindaloo...sorry to be so graphic, but Geeze's cock was way down James's throat, re-appearing at intervals covered in slimy spit, as good as any proprietary lube. If you've ever been there you'll know what I'm talking about. You'll also recognise that feeling you get from intense oral sex, man or woman. Few people seem able to give it strongly enough for long enough, but when they do, the recipient knows the donor is entirely comfortable with it, desperate for it even. It causes them to further relax and the whole thing spirals into a frenzy. And so it was this evening with James and Geeze. Geeze was confident enough to pull James's head down and onto his cock hard, holding it there, revelling in the glorious sensation effected by James's hot mouth and swirling tongue, the true definition of ECSTASY and all the sweeter knowing that it wasn't going to end abruptly. It was there, AVAILABLE, on tap to be ENJOYED. It was one of those moments you truly savour, knowing that however sexually active you might be, times like that are rare indeed. James's specialist subject is Physics, but tonight it was all about CHEMISTRY, re-kindled from 2 years back, WOW WOW and WOW again.

When James finally surfaced, his face dribbling with slime & his neck marked red from where Geeze had bitten him out of lust, Minx offered Prosecco. The three of us guzzled on our glasses; The two men acknowledged it was Minx's turn to be ravaged. Already wet from being turned on by the MM action, she motioned James to go down on her. He willingly obliged and within minutes she was arching her back from the intense stimulation, letting go with an intense stream of ejaculant, drenching them both. Now she was back in domme mode. Quietly chuffed after he'd told her how thrilled he was to have seen his picture in her Private Gallery with 'fave sub' as the caption, she ordered him to clean up every drop of her cum. Now Minx too was the subject of his hot tongue, as he licked her silky flesh, simultaneously heightening her level of arousal as his coarse stubble brushed against her thighs.  'Fuck me NOW!' she ordered Geeze, shuffling towards the sofa on her knees then twisting her body to lie with one leg drawn up & the other wide open and to one side in readiness for penetration by her partner. Geeze got stuck in the best he could, never easy on a squidgy sofa, but hey ho! Rhythmically reaming her sloppy but tightish cunt he allowed himself time to enjoy the ride, but wasn't quite 'there'...he needed EXTRA stimulation. I suppose the oral had spoiled him...he wanted more...it had really aroused him and the intercourse wasn't quite doing it. He stepped back to look at Minx from a distance. Telling her to start masturbating, his cock became a rod of iron as he too wanked...Minx has fair skin and you'd think she was shaven but she's not; just recently her hair has increased slightly, and collectively they cast a shadow against her angled body and groin, exciting Geeze to the point he could feel his balls stirring. Drifting back towards the sofa he lowered himself to her level and thrust his dick hard into her sex. Drawing it out again he jerked his foreskin back with his fingers prompting a heavy load to pump from his bell end, back into her cunt, then out again covering her mound with thick white sperm. Subby lunged forward to feast on the pie until none was left, then, exercising the muscles in her cunt, Minx forced the remainder of Geeze's seed from her vulva so James got his just dessert....Delicious.

Most men once they've cum, dismiss calls for a 'second round'. Their loss. Experienced players know that switching sex OFF for a while & talking about ANYTHING BUT, often helps to re-kindle the flame. Almost accidentally. Before you know it, a trigger word or action has fanned the embers, and everyone's HOT & HORNY AGAIN and wanting more. Talk had been about fund raising & equity in business, but gradually turned to domination and pain. James admitted to missing BDSM play; his body and mind REQUIRED it, to counteract the pressure of 'work'. Minx aka Mistress Orchid the #TeesValleyMistress seized the moment, slapping James's taut and heavy ballbag hard with a serving spoon. Recoiling sharply James yelped but took it like a man; tonight he was caged in a chastity device but for many years he'd fought IN cages...known nowadays as MMA (mixed martial arts)...a full contact sport with 2 players pitted against each other in an octagonal ring. You win by physically overpowering your opponent. So a slap on the scrotum was something more akin to enjoyment for our James.  Taunting Minx, she responded by beating him harder, smashing the heavy plastic structure of the chastity device and drawing blood from his shrivelled dick. We'd never seen it erect. He and his partner have an unwritten rule....he can play, so long as his shaft remains firmly under lock and key. The 'denial' is what satisfies James and thousands like him. Now his feeble penis was out in the open, begging to be stimulated, yet it remained soft. James brought mental discipline to bear, mind over matter, and resisted our best attempts to get him hard. That's not to say he didn't cum though. Humiliating him over his perceived inadequacy, Minx massaged his soft bellend. Concealed by his ample foreskin, she pushed it against his belly & used two fingers in the same way she'd masturbate herself; with a groan he leaked seminal fluid, which grew into a hefty flow of watery cum. It was James's guilty pleasure. Geeze, aroused once more by the sight of his partner treating James like the sissy slut he used to be, masturbated hard on the couch. A heavy glass dildo deep in his ass kept in situ by the cushion of the seat pressed on his P-spot. Pouring sweat he came hard, crying out, prompting Minx to step aside in an effort to avoid his seed sticking to her silk lingerie. It rained down on James's belly, mixing with the watery mess from a few moments before. I can't remember what we did with it; I have a feeling I lapped some of it up myself and snowballed it with James; it's a bit of a blur. I know that DID happen but can't quite recall WHICH meeting it was...that's escorting life for you. You subscribe to NVS to learn out more about our life as an Escort Couple. YOUR PLEASURE is OUR BUSINESS as we turn fantasy into reality. We tell you the way it is….and we thank you for your continued support. Until next time, be good (I used to say Stay Safe but that phrase now means something else entirely) and realise that in all situations however dire there are Winners & Losers. Focus on the former, don't be unduly influenced by others, and strive to be your TRUE SELF. Chances are a decade from now, we're going to look back on this dark time and see it for what it is/was, GROSS OVERREACTION, CYNICAL MANIPULATION & an unjust & unwarranted ASSAULT ON OUR FREEDOMS by people we should kick out of our lives FOR GOOD,  Meanwhile take care, Luv, fun50couple xxx

Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity.

We've got a new escorting website on the drawing board and we need your feedback. What do you think about escort portals currently on the UK web? Are they fit for purpose? If not why not? What works for you and what doesn't? What would you like to see? Have a few megasites had it all their own way for way too long? Let us know what you think, Email fun50geeze@protonmail.com. Worried about divulging your email? There's no need, however if wanna open a new one go to protonmail.com. It's based in Switzerland, it's FREE and everything's encrypted. 

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