Chair 3 with TEXTMID OCT '16 NEWSLETTER 

'NEWS, VIEWS n SCREWS'

 

Fun50couple-NEWS

Hey sexy friends, its October, which brings to mind images of darkening evenings and Halloween. A few years ago we were fortunate enough to be in South Carolina USA for Halloween; the fall colours and the party atmosphere over there at the end of October has to be seen to be believed…go visit if you get the chance….it’s bigger than Christmas and nothing like the cheap tacky celebrations we see here in Blighty.

The darkening evenings signal the beginning of one of our favourite periods as far as work is concerned. There is massively increased activity in the business world, especially retail, in the run up to Xmas. This results in large numbers of executives and ‘important people’ flying about the country who feel more inclined to spend money on ‘entertainment’ due to the feel good factor.  So we should see increasing inquiries for outcalls to local hotels fingers crossed. It is a brilliant feeling emerging from a lift in a posh hotel after a meeting, strolling past Reception staff who likely have NO IDEA what we’ve been up to, then out into a cold winters night. We’re usually feeling VERY CLOSE at those times and will often kiss once out on the street….

it’s a special moment when you have just worked well together as a couple while sharing intimacy with a total stranger.

The colder weather also allows Minx to wear a long coat and boots, with not much on underneath except classy lingerie…a favourite is a 3 piece set in black satin with stockings or fishnets.p1090799-copy-2

The biggest news lately is improvements to our work-space and websites. After much searching for suitably styled products, we’ve gone ahead and invested in some SERIOUSLY LARGE mirrors, like floor to ceiling size, WOW. They are quality items and straightaway, clients have been remarking on the view. A fair few players have ‘stage fright’ or ‘performance anxieties’; usually it goes away once they’ve discovered that we’re actually nice people, quite used to dealing with ‘nerves’; the addition of mirrors turns the scenario into ‘live porn’ and increases arousal dramatically for many of them, so money well spent. We’ve also added to our collection of flails, whips, paddles and sextoys…a further investment in custom neon lighting should round things off nicely and add to the customer sexperience.

That is our priority…delighting the clients so they want to repeat the experience over and over.

Some guys have seen us 7 or 8 times or more…very gratifying.

Work has also been progressing on fun-five-0.com website, with detailed optimization of webpages, one by one….time consuming but ultimately worth it if our efforts with fun50couple.com are anything to go by with that site steadily working its way up the rankings for organic search, with Page 1 placing now being achieved on a regular basis.

Fun50couple-VIEWS

Yesterday October 11th was National Coming Out Day. Most of our clients are not full on bisexuals; some are, but most are bi-curious and live a mainly straight life. Younger readers will probably be aware of the politics and bitterness within the LGBTQ community and hostility towards bi people from within that community AND the heterosexual one. These groups frequently dismiss bisexuality as no more than a ‘phase’, or don’t even acknowledge it exists at all…in their eyes its black and white, you’re either straight or gay, end of.

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As with so many things these days, perceptions and attitudes are changing fast, with social media and the internet driving things forward through open discussion which simply wasn’t feasible a few short years ago. Some of you Twitter followers will have picked up on @fun50couple’s changing TWEET strategy with less emphasis on self-promotion and more focus instead on lifestyle, sexual health and adult industry issues AS WELL as glimpses into our life and thoughts as an Escort Couple. A few recent Tweets have been highlighting this accelerating positive shift in attitudes towards bisexuality. A bunch of recent surveys are indicating ever increasing numbers of Millennials and under, identifying themselves to be something other than 100% straight. BRAVO!  Working daily as escorts drops us right into the intimate life and fantasies of the client, particularly the ones that communicate well; it’s sad to see so many who’ve bottled up feelings and same sex desire for decades, before plucking up the courage to take things a stage further….

We’re constantly reminded by the words of Maya Angelou (American writer and civil rights activist 1928-2014) ‘There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you’. 

Some of these clients have tormented themselves for years and years…so often we witness relief and joy pouring forth in equal measure during a meeting. Many of our followers on social media are younger guys and couples, some wrestling with their sexuality; Well, our message to you as Escorts on the wrong side of 50 is loud and clear. Just ‘go with your heart and soul’. It’s a cliché we all know…’life is short’…BUT, it really is, and alarmingly so as one gets older. So just go for it and 2 fingers to any-one who sees fit to call you,

it’s YOUR LIFE, it’s YOUR WISH, it’s YOUR SEXUALITY and you DON’T have to justify it to any-one, go with it.

Finally, we’ve started Pinterest accounts on both sites; its amazing to see the amount of interest in the boards despite them only going a couple of weeks, take a look.

Fun50Couple-Screws

Escorting is NOT for the faint of heart.  It’s an emotionally draining vocation, with constant highs and lows. It’s not how most imagine…we so often get feedback and messages envious of our extraordinary lifestyle….with many believing it be just one big FUCKFEST and not really work at all. Our work is our choice, and a lifestyle deliberately & consciously chosen by most in our industry, contrary to the lies and mischief pedalled by grubby politicians on a daily basis. These leeches routinely portray themselves to be ‘holier than thou’ and saviours to us escorts, people who in their eyes are persons incapable of rational thought, open to being exploited, and/or forced into the industry to pay for a habit of some kind, or been trafficked.  All UTTER BOLLOCKS. The vast majority of us LOVE WHAT WE DO. However, the highs and lows are a big part of the lifestyle and need mental strength to cope with. The lows aren’t what you might imagine…some-one who smells maybe, or some-one who’s rough as in forceful, some-one who looks gross, or massively overweight…even these categories will be a turn on to some, but not us. Telephone confirmation of bookings almost invariably sorts the wheat from the chaff…

over the years you get to recognise negative connotations with regard to a person’s character…sometimes it can be as little as a single word in a text or email;

the trick is to go with your first feeling and hunch, it’s almost always right. If you’re a streetwise kinda person you’ll know, if you’re a left leaning academic who believes in the ‘everybody’s special’ mantra, then you’d likely get burned.  Anyhow, this past weekend was a LOW, bigtime. Why? Because despite booking through Adult Work, three consecutive players cancelled or didn’t show up for one reason or another.  We could fill a book with the idiotic excuses people come up with…it’s like they think we were born yesterday; this weekend included one in a 4 star hotel up here for Newcastle Races, who tried to tell us his bank account had been hacked and he couldn’t draw any cash…yeah right. (all sent by text of course, no call) Sorry but if you’re a punter going to the races and you stay in 4 and 5 star hotels, it’s unlikely you’ve only one source of cash, in our experience? Again, a single phrase in one of his emails had rung alarm bells…we should have taken notice and been forewarned. So after 3 cancellations and a dead phone we were feeling pretty dispirited. fun50couple is successful as a business because we run it just like that….a business. That alone sets us apart from most in the industry who adopt an amateur and opportunistic approach;

this is OUR LIVING, which we live or die upon, ACTION WAS NEEDED.

On such occasions we punt ourselves out aggressively over a wide area across the North; our prayers were answered. Manner from Heaven…the phone rang…. 'could we do an outcall to a NorthEast hotel at short notice?’ Is the POPE Catholic? The guy described himself as a mid-40’s business type. Other details painted a mental picture of a kind of rock n roll type of guy…so away we went. There were a few shady details that didn’t add up, but beggars can’t be choosers, he sounded nice enough, time to get in the shower and get ready. A couple of hours later we spotted him in the hotel bar as we walked past in the street…as soon as we were through the foyer he noticed us and waved. He was an interesting guy…we’ll call him James. James was formerly from the NorthEast but now lived abroad, and was back here on business. The previous night he’d visited a local swingers club, but not scored. He described it as interesting but cliquey. These clubs are of no interest to us. We were swingers once, briefly, before deciding it wasn’t for us and became escorts….far too many prima donnas and timewasters in that scene for our taste.  Quite often we get them coming to us as clients; it’s amazing that many of them appear to know so little about sex and sensuality….I (geeze) love to listen to these men expounding the virtues of the ‘lifestyle’ before gently questioning them (if I can get a word in) as to why they feel the need to meet us and PAY for OUR companionship when so much is on tap for them for FREE?

So James found himself alone in a hotel room far away from home and a rising level of HORN which needed some RELIEF. 

The mental picture we had of him from the telephone discussion proved pretty accurate…James did indeed fit the rock and roll image, and after a quick drink, we took the lift to an upper floor room. This particular hotel sub-chain was not one we regularly visit, and though nicely furnished, the room’s lighting lacked fine control. It was either full on every light or bedside lamps only. Fortunately these lamps were map reading style flexible spotlights which emitted a powerful beam, so we elected to have them on rather than full room illumination. As usual, there was relaxed discussion about sexual preferences and past experiences whilst clothes were coming off with more intimate touching following on. James was clearly a chilled, sensual type of guy with a gentle touch, and much to Minx likes. I had my back to the headboard leaning against it beside Minx, while James nestled between her thighs to give her intense oral.

Before doing so he talked to us whilst on his knees between Minx’s legs…It was an incredibly erotic scene, as the bright pinpoint spot-lamps floodlit the few areas of his lily white torso left visible in between the most amazing tatts you’ve ever seen,

an attractive man, and a decent cock despite his protestations of ‘stage fright’. Minx came to multiple squirting orgasms, something so many men have never seen but love when they experience it…before the guy moved on to sucking Geeze to the very brink of cumming. He wanted to try DP, not something automatically on the menu with a first time encounter; however, if we gel with the guy, it often happens.  Again, the worst kinds of clients are the ones who think we are an object to be used which gives them a right to demand anything they want.  Well FUCK OFF. James was naturally sensual, sexy, and didn’t need to demand anything, because everything was on offer. The sense of calm and peace in that bedroom was palpable, we could quite easily have remained there all night, the bed was comfortable, the company was comfortable, rock and roll...all previous thoughts about the time-wasters and the miserable weekend were all but vanquished, as we proceeded to fuck and suck our way to intense pleasure. For me, the best bit was screwing Minx gently but deeply in her ass as James intermittently fucked her pussy from underneath. I reached round and embraced James, pulling him in closer,  wanking his cock in between and simultaneously as he fucked Minx.  Many guys appear to relax but don’t fully manage it for quite a while into a meeting, not in the sense of getting 100% solid anyways…this was the case with James. We never judge, we’ve seen it all before….99/100 we can get it sorted before the meet comes to a close. And indeed we did.

Time was over-running, but no matter, this meeting was GORGEOUS.….

James eventually got turned on to the extreme with a seriously impressive hard on, eventually discharging his heavy load  over Minx’s tits and face followed in quick succession by Geeze who shot his EXTREME load over James’s jizz,  accompanied by loud moans of pleasure and relief from all three of us, NIRVANA.

I hope from this, dear subscriber, this, and other tales of ‘SCREWS’ you may have read in previous newsletters, I hope that you can picture these scenes and fit them into scenarios you might imagine yourself…this is for real though, and all part of our life as one of the UK’s leading mature escort duos, ENJOY.  The three of us came back down to EARTH in the hotel’s lift, shook hands, and went our separate ways out into the night.

Minx and I savoured a sweet but all too brief moment of elation once out on the street,

before pondering another job booked for the next day, and NOT a job we were looking forward to. Nine pages of messages setting out precise likes and dislikes didn’t bode well from this prospective client….but that’s another story altogether.

We turn fantasy into reality, and we tell you the way it is….You subscribe to our newsletter for NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS and to find out what it’s really like to be an EscortCouple, We thank you for your support, Stay tuned, safe sex always, until next time, Luv, fun50couple xxx

* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity