AUGUST '16  NEWSLETTER!

Fun50coupleNEWS

Hello to all our sexy subscribers! It’s August and many of you will be taking holidays….Enjoy! It’s also a traditionally quiet time in our industry. The first two weeks of the month found us checking to see if the phone was working, but lack of new inquiries was offset by strong demand from existing clients wanting repeat meets…the lifeblood of ANY business, adult or otherwise. So, we are happy bunnies. In fact, so far its been a manic month which is not unusual, because as an escort you learn to expect the unexpected.

In between entertaining we have been busy putting the finishing touches to our e-commerce site http://www.fun-five-o.com   It’s not the purpose of our NEWSLETTERS to give you the hard sell but you might like to take a look at it.

The site was made by fun50geeze with help from a guy in India and payment processing has been provided by a long established organisation in Arizona USA. These American people are very knowledgeable about the adult business and that is why we decided to use them so we can bring you more exciting content as time goes by. We had at first approached a British processor, but got turned off by their amateur nature + demands for up-front payments before our application could proceed….never a good sign & the usual story over here I have to say. Their loss. I would imagine we shall at some stage cross the Pond to meet the American people in person and to visit some niche sextoy manufacturers at the same time, oh, & hopefully tie it in with a NHRA drag race, another big passion of ours.

If you think ¼ mile racing is boring, hold judgment until you’ve witnessed first-hand 2 Top Fuellers ripping up the ¼ in less than 4 seconds with terminal speeds well over 320mph…at night….in America…its almost better than sex. www.nhra.com  

Fun50coupleVIEWS

Our niche segment in the Escorting world is mainly mature  40+age men looking for threesome fun wanting  a straight MFM, or, they’re bi-curious or bi and wanting  an MMF. There are numerous reasons guys visit Escorts & Escort Couples and trust me, we have heard them all. A good many come because their sex life has dried up at home, and a fair few come because they’ve lost their partners. One guy recently woke to find his 30something female fiancé dead in bed beside him from natural causes one morning…not drugs or drink or anything, just unseen heart disease…so as Minx says, if things are looking bad, there’s always somebody out there in a situation a whole lot worse.

‘Many guys meet us because their wives have lost interest due to the menopause but they still want and need sex .’

However, a good many of these folk have trouble themselves…did you know that around 50% of ALL males suffer from ED at some stage in their lives? That stands for ‘erectile dysfunction’ btw and there are a growing number of reports that its affecting men younger and younger. There are many causes and it is a condition constantly being researched by all kinds of people including the multinational drug companies who don’t want you to go looking too far for a natural remedy for obvious reasons. We often view our work as helping other people; after all, if we can satisfy a sex hungry client and he goes home happy to his family and his marital relationship remains intact as a result then ‘fair play’ (this is VERY COMMON btw).  Fairly often a guy visits with the dreaded ED, and of course, we want to help.

Have a look at 4 psychological causes of ED here: http://bit.ly/2bI4gSQ

You will see there’s a bit there about learning to relax. Many times a man will tip us off in the pre-amble that he’s an ED sufferer only to find himself enjoying a raging hard-on a quarter of an hour later; a change of environment and being with 2 positive sexy people is sometimes all that’s needed, trust us, we know, we’ve seen it on numerous occasions.

Fun50coupleSCREWS *

MEET of the MONTH? A difficult one but let’s share with you two meets in succession. Meet A and Meet B. Two more contrasting liaisons it would be difficult to imagine if you weren’t an escort.  Meet A: We drove west to visit a low 40something gentleman up in the Pennines, a former jockey who’d never married but a VERY HIGH sex drive nevertheless. The man was visibly shaking from a mixture of nerves and excitement, almost screaming for the MMF sex of his fantasy. It was his first time with a Couple. He couldn’t hold back from touching Minx right from the off, before Minx had even sat down…she took him under her wing and cuddled and kissed him, before he lead us to a cosy bedroom.  He had showered just before we arrived, and was dressed in a towel only, which quickly dropped to the floor to reveal an impressively erect cock; He dived in to get close-up n personal with Minx’s pussy whilst simultaneously rubbing fun50Geeze’s bulge, before turning his attentions fully to removing Geeze’s jeans so he could  mouth Geeze’s cock through a colourful Spandex thong. Remember this was a first time experience for this guy, so Minx offered encouragement to go further not that it was really needed; We were both slightly worried about him, he was SO SEXED up and shaking he was very nearly hyper-ventilating…we paused to ascertain he was OK, he just murmured under his breath and nodded the affirmative whilst taking Geeze’s penis deep into his throat to the point of gagging, repeatedly. He was in MMF heaven, and recovered composure sufficiently to thank us profusely for fulfilling his fantasy in between repeated helpings of J’s cock and Minx’s by now very wet pussy. Enough said! This meeting was a pleasure for us all; there is nothing more satisfying than under-promising and over-delivering and leaving a client well and truly satisfied and EAGER to REBOOK a repeat experience. (We find btw that subsequent meets just build & build the lust, another story)

Flick now to Meet B: a southern late 60s gent visiting relatives all over the North and in a local hotel. There had been extensive communications beforehand with warnings of nerves and ED, nothing unusual.  Late 60’s age is of little concern to us as we have met many seriously horny and capable guys 10 years or more past that. Alarm bells started to ring in early conversation on the day of the meet….clearly this fellow was a well-educated ‘ know-all’ but we listened nevertheless. One is always learning in life and I have to put my hand up to say that’s its only in recent years that I’ve chosen to listen to people before saying much myself or ‘butting in’. I take no credit for this; it was hearing an orbituary to an old friend of mine that put the idea into my head…this multi millionaire friend who was as ordinary as they come, and completely unpretentious and unassuming, often advised people to ‘always listen to what another person has to say because the very least you’ll find out is that they don’t know what they are talking about’…..GOOD ADVICE INDEED, RIP EW. Sure enough ‘Meet B gent’ kept talking and as time went by it was clear he was a bullshitter and knew very little about women. Minx goes to a great deal of trouble to dress sexy and is experienced enough to know what to choose to wear after chatting to men on the phone beforehand….sometimes she’s office PA, sometimes she’s dom, sometimes she’s burlesque, sometimes she’s leather, or PVC, or silk….no proper niceties or compliments from this guy though, it was orders orders orders from the off…he didn’t like stockings/holdups, scoffed at the idea of female ejaculation saying it was nothing but piss, he criticised our equipment but we shot that down by producing what he preferred….it went on and on and on…we held our tongues…  ‘as you do’ but this meet was no easy meal ticket…a chore, a pain, but all part of the territory, he did suffer from ED…it was all down to the drugs apparently that kept him alive;

We comforted ourselves by remembering a phrase held dear by one of our clients though…. ’No connection, No erection’

Meet B gent did cum though…eventually!  Fortunately we rarely suffer his kind because we weed them out beforehand or try to; after all, no one can be ‘all things to all people’. It’s a bit like our new store….we have no intention of being ‘just another e-commerce sextoy shop’ and trying to be ‘all things to all people’….we prefer to concentrate solely on our niche, its served us well to date, and should serve as well into the future. That’s it for now peeps!

We turn fantasy into reality, and we tell you the way it is….You subscribe to our newsletter for NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS and to find out what it’s really like to be an EscortCouple, We thank you for your support, Stay tuned, safe sex always, until next time, Luv, fun50couple xxx

* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity