NEW YEARS DAY 2025 SPECIAL
'Fun50Couple-SCREW'

ESCORT LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

Hello Sexy friends & subscribers! 🥂We wish you a Happy New Year🥂 & hope you're not too hung over this morning from last night's celebrations! New Years Day is traditionally the time people pledge they'll do this that and the other over the coming year aka New Year Resolutions. Most of them are forgotten about come February, especially when the full financial impact of Christmas hits home with credit card bills landing on doormats or inboxes; not something that worries us as we don't use 'em...worst thing ever invented as far as we're concerned, but hey ho, let's not put a damper on 2025. We're here to talk sex, and plenty of it. As always we thank you for subscribing, and apologies to those who've been shut out by some email providers... something we're seeking advice about from our friends at Aweber in the coming week. Fact is, governments and authorities are making it ever harder to access porn on the internet with the ultimate goal of shutting it down completely. I doubt they'll succeed in the medium term, as Web3 supersedes Web2 (what we have now). Web3 is a decentralised internet, so it means it won't be controlled by behemoths like Google; it'll be peer to peer. Stay tuned. A TON of work is being done as we speak by developers worldwide, behind the scenes. It's not IF it comes to play, its a case of 'when'. With the Securities & Exchange Commission now rid of Gary Gensler, and crypto industry strangulation in the US coming to end under the new DT administration, I would imagine Web3 projects will get a boost. #innovation

December's NVS published a week ago featured John, a mildly heteroflexible guy with a penchant for voyeurism and cuckold scenarios. I promised, if I had the time, to bring you a Special for New Years Day. Probably not a bad idea, because pretty much everywhere in the UK is CLOSED for the day 😩😩 >> GROAN. No wonder the country's on the bone of its ass. Most places elsewhere its business as usual with a spring in the step... as positive individuals get to work on new goals and targets for 25, us included.

So for today 1st January, let's turn our attentions to Chris, a 41 year old auto electrics boss from our local area, close to Darlington. He called us from a noisy pub, late afternoon on Mad Friday. It was immediately clear that he was a) nervous to the extreme, b) totally inexperienced, and c) a wee bit under the influence...prompting Geeze to ask 'Is this you fantasizing or the drink that's doing the talking?'

'A bit of both' he answered. Minx had picked the phone up, but she was at a loss as how to answer him. All he said was 'Threesome. How to do it?' and that was all; repeated twice with silence after...... then nothing. I heard it from the office next door to the boudoir; she was on speaker phone, holding the device at arms length pulling a face, looking at me, then looking back at the phone... she's adept at putting newbies at ease, and extracting information necessary for screening, but with Chris she had her work cut out. Long story short, we succeeded in getting him to open up a bit... He kept repeating 'I don't believe/I can't believe I'm doing this'. He asked us where we were... he didn't know what site he'd seen us on; he told us he was in Darlington with his mate, who'd told him about escort couples.

When Chris had answered 'A bit of both' I sensed a ring of truth in his voice, he sounded like he could be a genuine guy, just mixed up. He said he'd have to get a taxi and didn't know if he'd be able due to the scarcity/time of year. Minx asked him if he'd pay a deposit, to which he replied 'No problem at all'... then cutting him some slack... told him to ring off & think about it, meanwhile she'd send bank details. That's usually a great way to sort the wheat from the chaff. To be fair, over three quarters of punters are willing to pay deposits these days... changing times. Genuine players are well aware of the SEA of dreamers out there, so they don't mind paying up front.. our six websites, 13 years public track record, and 225+ positive AW feedback helps too.

We put odds on him getting back to us at 50:50. Around an hour later he called again, though no deposit had been forthcoming.
'Right, where do I come to?'
'I've thought about it and I'm definitely coming, still can't believe I'm doing this......'
'Phone us when you've got a taxi' Minx told him.
'I'm in it now!' he replied
'I'm just doing the bank transfer'
Minx told him where to tell the driver to drop him, and within seconds not just the deposit but the FULL amount dropped into her bank account. He was as good as his word.
Some clients do that...its as if they do it to really commit to THEMSELVES, like 'there's no going back now'. It would be silly to not turn up when you'd already paid in full, nevertheless there are guys who bottle it even then. If you're reading this & identify with some of these sentiments, just don't overthink stuff right? A meeting with us or people like us is no more than three sexy people having a bit of fun, it's not like you're having an affair.

We hadn't got ourselves 100% ready up to that point; we've learnt to only do that once a booking's secured. Now we were both prepping as fast as we could; he'd be here in 20 minutes and I had douching/showering/dressing to do, Minx had hair and makeup. But we managed it as we always do. We've NEVER met anyone without being squeaky clean & well groomed. Some guys tell us not to bother, they don't care, they just want two naked bodies, but that's not our style.

The phone rang, again. He'd been dropped off, seemingly a good couple of hundred yards past where we'd intended, which gave us a little more time. He sounded less under the influence now; clearly he was focusing on the adventure about to unfold. He was pretty good following directions on foot. After ten minutes, he'd navigated his way into our road, and was counting the houses... looking for the one with our car in the drive, and other distinguishing items of note which I'm not going to divulge here! I opened the front door slightly, and spied him, lumbering down the nearside pavement... the best way to describe his motion... twenty odd stone of bulk, bearlike in the dusk, head swiveling nervously from side to side.... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

'Whoah!' rumbled Geeze. Grizzly turned his head, then his direction, crossing the street and making his way down the garden path.
'You made it!'
'Can't believe I'm doing this...don't know why I'm here.......'

'Down the corridor buddy!' The hallway was dark; the door into the reception area was almost shut... a flickering light beckoned through the gap between door and frame; Minx had lit candles and dimmed the lights. 'Well HELLLLLLLO!' she greeted the Grizzly aka Chris.

He wore combat trousers, and a maroon sweatshirt under a black puffer; he was a big fella for sure. He was visibly shaking... 'Here, let me get you a drink... will a Budweiser do?'
'AWE yeah, thanks!'
Minx was left to break the ice. Geeze went to get Chris his beer, pouring an alcohol free lager for himself... we never know when we might be called upon to drive.
'Take you coat off then... I take it you're stopping?'
'Oh yeah, right, sorry'
'So what do you mean you don't know why you're here Chris? Of course you do, its because you're a wee bit curious isn't that right Chris?' Sidling up to the hulk, then gently rubbing the area you'd expect a cock to be hard and horny, Geeze found...... nothing. 'Hmmmmm, sit yourself down, don't be nervous'.

Grizzly did as he was told. His eyes were a little glazed, but were beginning to focus on Minx's body. She'd literally thrown on a dress... a black number she's had for years, ostensibly a 'domme dress' from Cottelli; it's wetlook satin, and shows no sign of wear despite being repeatedly washed, cum over, stretched, pulled, you name it it's been there, and still it looks the part, as you can see from the pics! We're strong believers in the 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' approach. Besides, many punters never see us again, they're one trip bucket listers, so no need to always be wearing something different. It's work clothing at the end of the day, not a fashion parade. Tell that to the millennials! Ha!

I remember reading as a kid about brown bears and their love for honey... perhaps that explained why Chris seemed fixated on Minx's pussy; she'd parted her legs, then her lips, only very briefly, revealing her honeytrap in all its GILF glory, teasing him. He now sat between us; normally we'd both be facing him and chatting. At long last he'd divulged to us his Number One fantasy. He still kept apologising for himself, no need, but he couldn't help it. He was out of his comfort zone clearly, but bravely forging ahead... it was a little seed in his head that kept cropping up over and over and over. 'It'll never go away unless you do something about it' confirmed Geeze 'and you've done the right thing...you're addressing it, that's why you're here, looking after number 1'.

'I've got a wife, I've got three kids' 'its what you do isn't it' you just don't do this sorta thing do you....'

He was struggling to come to terms with the situation

'Don't overthink it Chris, you're here & that's all that matters...'

Chris told us he'd forever fancied being between an older couple, pleasuring them both, without knowing why. He'd NEVER been with escorts in the UK, but had dabbled with 'prostitutes' as he called them, while on holiday. 'So what was that like?' we asked him. 'what you'd expect from a prostitute' he told us, 'Well, what?'
'Very cold, she wouldn't kiss, just a fuck really'.

We quizzed him about his 'bi' thoughts. For how long had he had them? Had he ever had any 'experiences', even when at school?

'No, never', he replied.
It seemed the scenario was something his brain had concocted; you collect thoughts I suppose over time; some mesh with others, as we've told you countless times the brain's the biggest sex organ, so here we were...

'It is what it is' he said, now with Geeze's cock in one hand, and Minx's pussy under his other.

Then, all of a sudden, he changed up a gear. In a big way. We were all on a futon, but things changed fast as he turned, kind of rolling off the edge onto the tufted matt, to face us both. He went down on my cock straightaway, without hesitating and with a degree of gusto. Then, after no more than 30 seconds he moved on to Minx.... Alternating between us both, for a good ten minutes, he seemed torn. Kid in a sweetshop? Yes! After years of fantasizing, THIS WAS THE MOMENT, it was FINALLY HAPPENING for real, and along with it, sensory overload. He was quite rough. Minx tempered him, whereas I was the opposite.

'Mmmmm I love it rough' I told him. Minx chipped in 'He loves it rough on his balls Chris, go on twist them'. Twist them he did, to the extreme.  The act seemed to further embolden him. He surprised me again... taking my full length into his throat (seven inches) he took it like a champ; it was hard to believe it was his 'first'. But I genuinely think he was being truthful. We've been doing this for so long its easy for us to smell BS when we see it & we're not being naive. What was fueling Chris's frenzy was LUST and RELIEF in equal measure. He told us he was a company director, and hands on, with a pesky staff to keep in check. Reading between the lines it looked for all the world as if Christmas had come not a moment too soon for Chris after weeks of frantic work, deadlines, customers to satisfy not to mention gathering clouds. Worrying clouds striking fear & despondency into the hearts of people like him the length & breadth of Britain, as Rachel From Accounts turns the screw on SME's & Industry with thirty odd billion pounds of costs relating to wages and NI, & further regulation. People like Chris used to be treated with a degree of respect, they were considered the backbone of the economy... entrepreneurial types employing ten to twenty workers, never really encouraged as they are in the US, but tolerated nonetheless by successive UK administrations. You really have to ask yourself why in the UK, we don't have mega corporations like Alphabet, Meta, Amazon, Navidia, Tesla despite being the worlds 5th biggest economy. All those things were far from Chris's mind though... pressures of work got sunk beneath a wave of pure Hedonism, as he sallied back and forth between pussy and cock. He was remarkably agile for such a big bloke, contorting himself into all manner of positions as he feasted on us both, gradually concentrating more on Geeze's cock with his mouth, while fingering the Minx, as she looked on enthralled. 'Oh yeah, go on, I love it Chris...more, more go on....'. While cupping his head with my hand to keep him down, I could see a stream of drool shining from the corner of his mouth as he turned to look me in the eye. 'Do you want my cum Chris? Do you?'

Uttering a sound loosely resembling an affirmation, he nodded his head up and down to confirm his positive intent.

'You're really good, you're gonna make me cum, you're going to make me CUMMMMM do ya know that?!?!?'

He was so rough I was on the edge of pain, in a good way. To be honest, it was probably one of the best BJ's I'd ever 'endured'. I chose that word carefully, cuz it was so frenzied. Funny isn't it... you can go through life and remember a half dozen, maybe a dozen or so similar occasions.... sexperiences so outstanding they're indelibly etched onto your mind. When you get older & you get a repeat, you're minded of all those previous occasions. They come flashing back, your brain shifts up a gear, automatically, initiating a chain of reactions reserved only for times like these. You can feel it, and its not something you can manufacture or 'will'.  And when it occurs, an explosive orgasm is guaranteed...

Cumming excruciatingly hard between cries of exhaustion & exultation, I let go while Chris still had me engorged.  I can't lie or tell you what happened over the next few minutes. It's a blur now in my mind. All I do know is it blew him away.

So much so, that he told us he wanted to do it again. There and then.
Wow. Think back a couple of hours.... such is life, the most unlikely people.....
He was reaching for his phone...'Same account?' he asked
'Yes' we replied....

'There, that's another hour....'
'Bless You!'
We'd had a normal week, of big expectations, tempered by the usual suspects: timewasters who said they couldn't pay a deposit... but they'd definitely turn up on the day. Yeah right. That's why there's a hashtag #sexworkisrealwork. Chris's enthusiasm & generosity went some way to replace lost income from the dreamers. I told him I'd need around twenty minutes to recharge. Up to that moment, Chris's cock hadn't grown, at all. He stayed soft & shriveled; clearly the drink had caused him to droop. He admitted he often found it difficult to get hard... his weight didn't help, and he was quite possibly pre if not fully diabetic.

We talked about 'stuff' for around a quarter of an hour. Geeze still wasn't hard; the orgasm had been VERY intense. Minx took Grizzly outside, to the patio, for a chat and a draw. She's a light social smoker;  he hadn't had a cigarette for twenty years, but tonight was different. The pair returned around ten minutes later, chilled from the tobacco, and the cold night air.  Conversation turned back to being sexual. Chris was showing renewed interest in Minx now, fingering her, hard... she appealed to him to 'Go gently!....'
Grizzly took heed, rubbing her cunt with more sensitivity. She felt him relaxing, becoming more sensual. Geeze joined in.... 'Keep going like that Chris & you'll make her squirt...'

'Mmmmm... you got any Viagra?' he inquired, in-between licking her pussy and her clit. 'Well, yeah, we got something like it...we're not really supposed to.......'

He was lucid enough to answer serious questions about health, heart, popper use etc... so we slipped him a tab. 'I'll get you a drink' offered Geeze.. 'Nah its okay' he said; he didn't need the interruption.

Now Minx was the subject of his kinky desire. Sucking on her lips, tonguing her deeply and ever more forcefully meant she too was being pleasured, in a way few men ever come close to. She climaxed with a gush. Unbelievably, Grizzly had the presence of mind to surface for an instant, put the tablet in his mouth then dive down again to swallow her fluids, and the Sildenafil with it. That was a first for us!

Meanwhile my own cock had got 'semi' again. Chris's actions had revealed the measure of the man. Initially he'd been 'wooden' on the phone, and shy. But the past ninety minutes had been a revelation.... Chris was, in reality, a great communicator, relaying his feelings, emotions and desires seamlessly; he was likeable.... he was telling us he wanted to be a regular, it was what he needed, what he craved. I crouched down beside them both, rubbing Minx's bumhole with a wet finger. I knew that turned on her on; no penetration, just erotic massaging, while Grizzly continued with the cunnilingus. I was wanking too. Then it came back.... the full horn and nothing but the horn, though a little sore. We've got some masturbation lube in the playroom (I forgot to mention, all this time we were in the reception area; Grizzly had taken one look at the playroom when he went upstairs to freshen up at the outset, and that was enough for him. He wasn't going there)

Smearing some of the greasy lube over my cock felt so good; it's not a warming lotion like some, all the same, it did raise the temperature. My cock swelled. I'd put a cock ring on too, and pretty soon it was that deep ruby red colour and very veiny. The lube felt so good.... heavy and viscous, it meant I could get rough. Like the meeting with John we featured in December's NVS the air felt charged. Sexually charged. All three of us were sexed up, grunting, shouting, moaning, on the edge. Then Geeze came, AGAIN, and almost as heavy as before. Chris had wanted another good mouthful, it was the reason he'd extended his visit. I did my best to please, aiming at his face and hastily opened mouth, but alas, most of it missed. It fell mainly on his sweat shirt...yep! He'd not taken it off, only his trousers and boxers!  The Viagra substitute had begun its magic; Chris's cock had now come to life, but not fully. Reaching down to try and finish him off, Grizzly shook his head...'I'm done' he whispered. We kissed threeways, letting him down gently. We'd been together two hours. Wifey would start 'wondering'.  After a while Geeze took him home; there were no taxis.

Hopefully we'll see him again, but I'd bet on it being nothing more than 'a moment of madness' more's the pity. That's the way it goes... a shame really because there are so many clients we'd love to have as regular playmates but we never solicit; it's unprofessional, and it makes a mockery of 'being discreet'.

If you've seen us before and you think you might be on our 'A list', do feel free to reach out. OR, if you've not had the courage yet to get off the fence at the station, then please remember, life's short, it really is. Get on the train and start your journey! Finally, if you're reading this from afar, and you know you never get to our area, bear in mind we do bespoke bookings, UK nationwide as well as #FMTY. We are fun50couple, at your kinky service!

You subscribe to NEWS VIEWS AND SCREWS to learn more about our crazy life as an Escort Couple. YOUR PLEASURE is OUR BUSINESS as we turn fantasy into reality. #WhatDreamsAreMadeOf! We tell you the way it is….and we thank you for your continued support. Until next time, [Spring issue, or Valentines Day if we can manage it!] take care, Luv, fun50couple xxx

Do 'fly-on-the-wall' TRUE* accounts of hot sexy meets turn you on? We'd guess the answer's YES! And we know you likely want to experience something similar yourself but the reality is you struggle with thoughts & emotions.  Life's short, it really is.

Turn WISHFUL THINKING into 'wish I'd done this years ago....'

You, yes YOU, could be participating & enjoying scenarios like these a few short hours from now, anywhere in the UK. So, pick up the phone! 07981-726237 is the number you need. Don't be shy. Call Minx TODAY to inquire about incalls, outcalls or bespoke bookings nationwide. See you soon! 😈😈😈

* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity.

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