APRIL 2023  
'NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS'
ESCORT LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

Fun50Couple-NEWS

Hello Sexy Friends!
In 2014 we made a decision to go escorting full time following a couple of years working part time. In effect we ceased 'vanilla work' and COMMITTED FULLY to sex work as our sole means of income. Why? Well not to be too morbid, a family tragedy meant we wanted to be close to one another more of the time; Geeze was working away all week every week after we sold our business in Scotland, not an ideal situation for us as a couple. We never regretted that choice, not even when 'family' spotted us in a national publication. They've never spoken to us since. 'Closer Magazine' had run a feature article on us & our chosen 'profession' putting a Brexit spin on it. Much of it was total bollocks, though there was a ring of truth in it. Never trust journalists.

Anyway, since then we've never gone hungry. Granted Geeze had a lifetime of self employment behind him so he was well used to 'ducking & diving' and Minx too was what you'd call 'a survivor'. It was one of the reasons we clicked upon first meeting (16 years ago this week as it happens!) Fast forward to February 2023, and we've just endured the worst month's trading ever, with bookings down 50%+. Business had slowed in the autumn, & we'd been trying to figure out whether poor numbers were due to us closing the dungeon, or the cost of living crisis, or a combination of the two. TBF, there were months over the past 2-3 years when we did hardly any 'escorting meets'; they were all kink orientated sessions. We had noticed this, but didn't expect overall bookings to fall quite so dramatically. We'd hoped & planned to move straight into new premises on Teesside but it was not to be. We looked for alternatives during the run up to Xmas & found several which looked suitable. Most needed work, or they were leasehold, which isn't the best for what we get up to... in many cases if you buy leasehold you're little better than a tenant in truth. As the economy's deteriorated, we've cut costs and decided to hold off buying new premises until 2024/25. Interestingly the Middlesbrough property we backed out of ended up going to auction with a starting price 45% lower than what we bid. Why didn't we snap it up I hear you ask? Well, we didn't want the hassle of an assy vendor putting a spanner in the works to get his own back...he seemed that kinda guy.

You can't effectively do 'kink' meets in a domestic setting, so instead, we set to and converted a bedroom at home into the mini dungeon playroom you see featured on this page. In some ways it has more WOW factor than Darlington but only has room for the bondage bed & the fucking bench. However, they are the most used pieces of equipment after the low bench. Fitting the pendulum swing to the bondage bed serves the same purpose as the low bench anyway. One of the room's best features is the floor lighting, IT ROCKS! The colours are changeable so we can have blue and pink for bi meets, bright white if we wanna see every glorious detail, blue or purple for the Tees Valley mistress or red for Hot n Horny. One big plus over Darlo is we've got BIG mirrors, a 'must have' for feminisation & crossdressers in particular. We've also added a Polish Special Forces gas mask for breath control, a puppy mask, new wigs, extra strong poppers (the real deal from the US) and two more electrostim power boxes... a mains operated 2B and a Remote bringing our total to FOUR.  Geeze now has a full leather Master's outfit too. Since opening at the end of March, business has picked up, but it's still patchy. Regulars have kept us going... and we've had increasing numbers of escort outcalls to hotels in County Durham & Cumbria. There's no doubt rising interest rates are taking their toll on disposable income. Every cloud has a silver lining though. The escorting life means there's plenty of time to learn new skills in between meets. 2012 to 2014 saw me venturing into web development & our own escorting sites. Difficulties with payment processors & censorship on social media led to interest in crypto currencies and issues surrounding freedom generally. The Covid nonsense amplified that. Neither of us had ever demonstrated about anything in our entire lives. Not CND, nor pit closures, or Poll Tax, nothing, until one day in October 2020 when anger led to action. I'm not going to spoil NVS for you, suffice to say EVERY SINGLE ONE of the 'conspiracy theories' broadcast that day in Birmingham have been proved true. We sold Darlington because we believed commercial property values were likely to fall, & we wanted to dive deeper into the crypto space. We sold at the top of the market, some 21% higher than we'd been advised by agents. Don't you just love them? I don't know about you, but I've always classed estate agents, UK ones anyway as a lower form of life, just above politicians I'd say. Absolutely full of sh!t and they talk down to you if you're the kind of person they perceive as 'blue collar'. My advice is if you've a property to sell, do it YOURSELF! It's easier than you think.

One of the great things about the crypto space is it's complexity, which forces you to learn about all manner of things from trading, chart patterns, politics, finance, markets, tech, the World Order, history even. Pretty soon you realise how foolish are those who 'gamble' on crypto. Unless you can devote several hours to study EACH & EVERY DAY, then you're best either avoiding it or DCA'ing on a regular basis & HODLING long term. I've been interested since 2017, and worked every waking hour on it since '21. Call me a fool, but if there's only 21 million BTC going to be ever in existence, and its a decentralized protocol which can't be stopped, its no different to anything else in terms of simple SUPPLY & DEMAND. As fiat currencies fall to a value approaching ZERO, people slowly catch on & take flight. They're turning to gold, residential property & bitcoin. Will we see a $100,000 bitcoin? By 2025 maybe. A million dollar Bitcoin? Quite possibly by 2030. The other thing that amazes me is people's ignorance. So very few discern governments' intent to do away with cash as any form of threat to their freedom. So very few perceive Covid control measures as anything other than necessary steps to 'keep the public safe'. So very few see any kind of connection with Antifa, Trans Activism, Ukraine, 15 Minute Cities, Climate Change policies etc etc etc. People say to me:

'Why let these things ruin your life? You can't do anything about it. Just carry on as normal. So long as you can do that why waste time on it?'  That's what they say....

Well I for one CAN'T. History has shown time & time again, during the periods preceding major evil, 90% of folk did nothing & remained oblivious, 10% knew something was amiss and tried to warn others, and only 1% did anything to try and combat it. I'm in the latter category, although in truth I would have preferred to have been one of the original one percenters, but hey ho, it is what it is.

So friends, it's against this backdrop of uncertainty, we find ourselves questioning 'Where/What next?'  The Teesside property we'd hoped to buy had potential for conversion into a club over time. Formerly it had been licensed. That was one reason we liked it. Nevertheless, our goal remains in place. We both like working in the sex trade. We KNOW a lot about SEXUALITY and what makes mature sex positive men tick. And what leads them to explore; for many it's a start of an exciting journey most of 'em would never have envisaged ten years prior. Other guys it's a bucket list thing, one crazy meet and a 'conquest'. What we are NOT SURE about right now is the under 40 demographic.

Whatever field one works in, given time, you notice patterns, and trends. Younger folk have lost the art of communication via anything other than text. The few that do contact us refuse to talk on the phone prior to meeting. They expect to indulge in what we would class as the ultimate act of COMMUNICATION ie unbridled sex with another, when they can't even talk beforehand. They also expect us to REVEAL ALL, including an address, and then think we're going to get all prepared and ready, in case...
In case they turn up. (less than 2% of under 40's we DO talk to ever turn up). Granted, times change. We're weighing up what kind of facility we're going to upgrade to in 2024/25 taking all this into account. The World is changing at such a frenetic pace just now, & we're not sure if good is going to prevail over evil, in the medium turn at least. A tough call.

Its like Bitcoin; a question of Supply & Demand. Everything in a capitalist society ultimately revolves around that principle. Will there be enough opportunity for guys to travel in the future to 'escape'. Will car ownership for the masses still be 'a thing'? (Germany's reporting 50% of the population unable to afford an EV) How can payments be made for sex, in secret, without cash? Will people prefer virtual pleasure over the real thing, from the comfort 'and safety' [UGHHHHHH !!] of their WFH armchair? There is evidence that suggests they might, from younger generations at least. Formerly, we'd expect sea changes like those to take decades, but now not so. One minute there's an idea that seemingly comes out of the blue, the next minute it's happening, a fait accompli,  waved though by ministers under the spell of, and in the pockets of greedy corporations. They're called #Useful Idiots. I think we're entirely correct in planning for a world with no cash and very limited transport opportunity. The only way to stop it, I think, is something like what's going on in France. Oh, you haven't heard? No surprise there since it's not being reported much in the mainstream media. It's called the Second French Revolution, against Macron, and its getting bloodier day by day. But you won't have heard if you stay tuned to the BBC. Fortunately 70 - 80,000 people a month are seeing the light and cancelling their TV licenses. But we've a long way to go. Anyway, back to fun50couple NEWS....

What shall we build in 2024? Another dungeon? A fetish club (preferred option)? Or something more wild?

When I first started writing NVS I envisaged building a community of sexy followers, overwhelmingly mature male with a sprinkling of couples. Four times more men identify as bisexual/bi-curious (in private) than those who identify as gay. There's a big market out there, as we've found out through our exploits playing almost exclusively with that group. From the outset, I planned eventually to offer & promote sexy cruise holidays for small groups of subscribers on ocean liners. There are companies that do that kinda thing, for swingers & LGBTQ groups. I contacted a couple of them. One never replied, the other somewhat snobbily dismissed my approach. So this last couple of years I've been considering boats. It was just a little thought to begin with. But it's growing in stature. I know a lot about boats and seamanship. I was a Merchant Navy cadet back in the day....you probably won't remember or even be interested, but the UK had a big fleet of ships once sailing under the Red Ensign. Places like Tilbury, London, Southampton, Bristol, Liverpool, Manchester even, were sizable docks. Dock Road in Liverpool went on for miles. It stood about ten feet tall. You couldn't see over it, but you could make out the funnels and derricks of ships by the score, you could hear the hustle and bustle, the cries of the dockers, the smells & aromas of foreign cargos. Halcyon days for sure. Long story short I failed one of my exams & chose not to re-take it because the fleet was being scrapped in front of my very eyes. Containerization and foreign flagged vessels were taking over. I left for the oil field, but before I made the move I'd accumulated three and a half years experience sailing deep sea, I had an EDH ticket (efficient deck hand), a lifeboatman's slip, a radar & VHF ticket and a good few months as an uncertified fourth mate actually standing watch on the bridge of a 15,000 ton freighter.... all before I was 20! I felt drawn to the sea. Still do. As a kid, I'd earned money working lock gates on the River Ouse for well heeled boat owners, & helped my father get into the hobby (he ended up with a twin engine 32 foot Freeman on The Fens). I also did RYA sailing courses in Enterprise dinghies... so all in all I know a good deal about ships & boats, not to mention many years as a water skier, in my 30's & 40s mainly, slalom & racing. I began to think about orgies afloat. A 40 to 60 foot boat with luxury cabins all with doubles and lotsa sunbathing pads on deck. Does that sound appealing? It would seem YES, judging by the response from men I've pitched this to over the last twelve months or so. Big problem is the UK weather. Cold sea water any time of year even on the South Coast precludes much in the way of naked swimming or watersports. Far better abroad. Fort Lauderdale would be high on the list, but Florida's crackdown on the LGBT community is a negative factor. Spain? Possibly, but then I'm stuck with EU bureaucracy. Croatia is another option. They're friendly at least towards nudists & naturist related tourism; I'm constantly researching. #workinprogress.

For weeks I've been meaning to bring you a new NVS, but there haven't been enough hours in the day. What I found yesterday though, flipped a switch. I got very excited. And I'm not talking about the staff training session we had last night, I'm talking abut an organization I dropped on by accident called 'Everything To Sea'.

Fun50Couple-VIEWS

It seems a couple of guys met up a few years ago, one was into nudism and sex, the other that too but also well qualified in marine matters. The pair teamed up to build what looks to me like a FABULOUS VENTURE. They're running luxury Phinisi schooners, which are wooden Far Eastern style gaff ketches, offering holidays over 7 days for men’s groups including Nudist Groups, Naked Yoga Groups, Tantric Groups, Naked Bowling Groups, Bate Groups, Naked Drawing Groups, Naturist Groups… for all orientations including straight, bi, bi curious and gay. Some of the cruises are mixed, some are just for gay guys, some solely for straight men, and you don't have to do any crewing, they do all that for you. You just lose yourself in the 'experience' & the freedom of nudity and total relaxation in a warm, easy going non judgmental environment. Their whole approach appears polished, caring & professional, putting the client first, with a deep understanding of his needs. What struck me most was their marketing, the wording & images in particular. Phrases & descriptions that could only come from someone truly in tune with his body, emotions and sexuality. I know myself how I feel, wandering naked amongst sand dunes at Teesside on a warm day.  It's a heady mixture of excitement (it's a slightly 'risque' unofficial nude beach), an intense feeling of freedom and detachment from everyday rigors; its back to nature. It's body positivity, exhibitionism & voyeurism combined. Occasionally it goes way further. When I'm there, I'm right on the doorstep of one of the UK's biggest industrial complexes but simultaneously far removed from the shackles of contemporary society.  Dave, the head guy at 'Everything to Sea' mentions the feeling of breezes on naked flesh. I can relate to that so well; its one of the most thrilling aspects of nudism. So many 'naturists' 'nudists' whatever, despise any sexual aspect, they're purist 'holier than thous' to the core.  Each to their own obviously, but not for me. 'Everything to Sea' (cool name!) EXUDES SENSUALITY, SEXUALITY & CONFIDENCE, just like I do. It keeps me alive. It thrills me still on a daily basis. Definitely food for thought. If you fancy the idea of pure indulgence, & joining myself & possibly Minx on an Everything To Sea adventure, email me at support@fun50couple.com & we'll see if we can make it happen. Alternatively, click the link and do your own thing.

I suspect the direction of travel we choose to go as a couple, in the future, will be influenced by all the things I've talked about in this post. As I say to Minx, like it or not, SEX is our living and forgive me if I boast, we're kinda good at it. At least as far as our niche is concerned anyway. Sometimes one has to compromise and combine certain elements to create success. It may be that we don't build another bricks and mortar dungeon or club, but host one instead, entirely in the Metaverse. The very least we expect to do is move into a much larger home, one that can accommodate a bigger play-space. Perhaps now you can see why we're so focused on Bitcoin? It's a massive OPPORTUNITY. Some rode the wave in 2017 & again in 2021, timed their exit perfectly and netted themselves unimaginable wealth. Others lost BIG, due to FOMOING in way too late with not a clue as to what they were doing. So stay tuned guys. Exciting things are starting to happen. I can't begin to share with you the buzz I/we feel for the next couple of years. Time now to meet Brian, this issue's featured gent & Fun50Couple-SCREW. Enjoy!

Fun50Couple-SCREWS

Brian messaged us to say he was [verbatim]'a 55 year old guy who a bit bisexual
I love owo all ways love sucking a cock that’s been dipped in a nice juicy pussy
I love giving oral, kissing cuddling and lots of 4 play'. PNC's (potential new client) take note. While not a grammatically perfect message, it told us what he wanted AND there were a few niceties attached, unlike the 39 year old this week who's opening shot was just one word: 'available' to which I replied 'are you'. Needless to say we didn't meet him, but Brian was a different kettle of fish. We fired off a reply... he'd wanted a 9AM meeting which is a bit on the early side for the Minx, but he told us it was that or nothing, so we went with it. TBF, the guy had a business meeting locally at 1030 and he'd driven a good way to get here. In due course, a Seat Leon estate in Desire Red drew up, an FR Sport no less, clearly the guy liked quality and performance. At least as far as motors were concerned. What would transpire in the bedroom? Like many guys he was on the nervous side, even though he was a seasoned player with a mass of feedback, all good. Work was on the back of his mind, there had been heavy traffic and then intricate directions to follow to our humble abode. We never give out an address for legal reasons. (2 escorts = a brothel = illegal, but not so with an outcall) So, he appeared flustered. We could tell straightaway that he was mildly irritated by our non disclosure policy. Politely informing him as to why it was necessary, he changed his tune a tad. We ushered him towards a futon...its what we normally do, so we can ice-break for a few minutes and also to sort the paperwork, but Brian had other ideas. Casting his eye towards the stairs it was obvious what was now at the forefront of his mind. Sex. Right now. Sometimes and I'm sure you've been there, you meet people who never really take orders, they just dish them out, & aren't accustomed to being checked in anyway. After a time, they kinda wear that persona on their sleeve...it's pervading, intimidating almost...call me daft but it's the way so many of the Range Rover brigade behave... you see it in their style of driving...born to rule, riding rough shod over everyone else. Maybe that would come one day when he outgrew the Seat & clawed his way up to the TOP of his game...you get my drift. We don't really get intimidated ourselves. Experience takes care of that, and we're not fazed by it, nevertheless we exchanged 'looks' as our man hurried up the staircase IN CHARGE. His glowing reviews hinted at how he might be, most described him as a 'gentleman' who 'knows how to', 'passionate', 'energetic' so on & so forth. God's gift to ladies alpha male was how we read it... amber warning, could go either way. A lot of swingers are like that, & not our cup of tea tbh; we make that clear in our ads. Some guys think because they're hiring us they're entitled to direct the whole scene. They think of us purely as 'service providers' delivering what they want, not as human beings capable of providing a fantastic experience if only left to do what comes naturally. As far as we're concerned there shouldn't be any pressure or expectations on ANYONE, least of all the punter himself.

His introductory email had hinted at him being a bit of a cuckold. Such men are often sub by nature, not overly dominant the way Brian was coming across. With the benefit of hindsight, I'd say he was still in boardroom mode, at least until 80% of the way through the meeting. Minx, dressed in her trusty black wetlook outfit, lay sprawled on the bed.

'So Brian, are you going to get me wet?'

Executive director Brian didn't need to be asked twice. Clearly smitten by Minx's au natural 'GILF' pussy not least the lips glistening in the subdued light of the boudoir, (like penises, all labia have characteristics that make them unique, find out more), Brian dived in, spreading her legs and burying his head in her hot sex. Minx has a fine pair of legs. They look even better in nude or black stockings. He'd demanded the latter in a follow up email, and she made sure he felt them, as she wrapped those legs tightly around his torso, digging 4 inch leopard skin heels into his flesh as she found his lower back, his waist, and then his bottom. As you'd expect, his body was tanned. All over. Yep you guessed, it.... a villa in Marbella. Moans & squeals of delight and 'Awe Brian!!!' gave way to even louder squelching noises, I'm sure you'll have been there.... rapid tonguing got her well and truly worked up to the point of her yelling 'Towel Geeze, quick....'
She was close to squirting...'Do you like female ejaculation Briiiiiiiiiiiiii........?'  But it was too late. I could tell. There were 'Oh God's, and OOOOOOOOhhhhs coming from Brian... still deep between her thighs.

From a visual perspective, Brian had a good body, and a pert ass. It was one of the first meetings we'd done in the new playroom. We've made it so the bondage bed can double up as a normal bed but still look totally professional. When we were in Darlington we used to have escort meetings on it, but the upholstered pad was a wee bit hard. Minx often complained about the discomfort. So we invested in a quality firm mattress which straps to the pad and we've done away with the cage beneath... the room was too low anyway for the bed's original custom made height. The modification is proving to be ideal for escort meetings...its firm enough for serious play, with good support for three or more players. Cutting to the chase, Brian's ass was in full view, his big ball-sack swaying as he ate Minx's pussy. Geeze watched for a good few minutes, his own cock hardening; it was live porn. As time passes we get more turned on by male AND female 'bottoms', overlooked by many, but incredibly alluring to us both. Synonyms include the words captivating, entrancing, fascinating, attractive, enthralling, enticing & tantalising. We wholeheartedly agree. Minx prefers clothed, she thinks that's way more sexy... anyway it got Geeze 75% hard! Shuffling around the pair, he clambered up onto the bed and offered Minx his cock to suck. She wanted it. It was early morning, normally a time she spends on hair and makeup; this was 'outside her comfort zone' but you wouldn't know it. She was reveling in the attention. Pushing out her tongue, she reached for Geeze's dick, then proceeded to lick the head, concentrating on both his frenulum and pee hole, before taking it deeper into her mouth & throat. She knew he'd let her know when she was on his sweet spot, about a third of a way down his shaft. Trouble is, she never stays 'just there'.... teasing I suppose, which is her nature. It got Geeze solid though. And I mean solid, a rod so rigid you need to do nothing else but FUCK, and FUCK HARD. Again, I suppose it was down to it being early morning, with no dulling down from computer work. That can really kill the horn, especially for some-one used to hard physical work. I felt the need to push Brian aside..

'Let me fuck her! Come-on, let me in....I need to FUCK!!!!'

Brain duly obliged. I'd forgotten the cuckold aspect of his request. Pushing into Minx felt so good. She was red hot to feel, inside. Her tits puffed up, & her nipples taughtened. They don't always do that. Geeze could see she was turned on BIG TIME. At the same time Brian's head appeared right up close and personal to us, down below. AH yes...the CUCKOLD. Geeze took that as his cue, withdrawing his cock for Brian to taste. But Brian went way beyond tasting. He'd mentioned he was 'a bit bi' but there had been scant evidence of that so far. Until now. It's what's prompted me to write this SCREW, along with what I discovered at 'Everything To Sea'. There's no point in churning out content if there's nothing worthy of note to write about! (IMAO) But this meeting stood out, by a country mile. Instead of merely tasting me, he gave me the most INCREDIBLE FELLATIO I've ever experienced. You'll know by now that he was a pretty forceful character, and that included his treatment of my cock. However, there was no pain. I don't know whether it was shear skill or luck, but the feelings were to die for. I guess you've experienced that point when it's nearly pain but not quite and it's so damn good you crave for it to go on FOREVER? Well that was Brian. He took me three quarters down (I'm 7" on a good day, and this was one of 'em, horned to THE MAX) and never let up for a good ten minutes, I was in ecstasy. Crying out aloud, any negative thoughts about Brian went out of the window. Now, I wanted to GIVE him something back, I truly wanted to. Diving back into Minx's pussy, there followed another 5-6 minutes of incredible sex, a cuckold experience like I've never known.... Pushing deep in to her 2 to 3 thrusts each time, no more, then pulling out, solid as rock. As soon as I was out I guided it straight into Brian's mouth, then pushed it away from me and deeper into him; so many times we did that I lost count. We got into a rhythm & I was consciously holding off cumming. This was a meeting we didn't ever want to end. As an escort, with high thresholds, its fairly easy when a meeting gets really hot to hold off knowing you can decide yourself exactly WHEN.... you let go. Some cucks are hard work... they'll just sit there, and expect you to fuck for an hour while they pleasure themselves. Often they don't cum, either through abstinence, chastity, or coke. We prefer more FULL ON participation, especially the fluffing part. Today was different, in a BIG WAY. We'd not had a meeting for three days so Geeze was loaded. It was THE MOTHER OF ALL CREAM PIES, the white stuff pumped deep into Minx's cunt. She too wanted to give Brian a good show... forcing the juice out of her pussy with the help of her pelvic muscle, it accumulated around her labia, streamed down to her thigh, gelling around her groin. Brian cleaned up every drop, then snowballed a good wadge of it back into Geeze's mouth (that's not something Minx indulges in) while masturbating hard. Geeze couldn't have cared less, both men were sexed up to the max... you could smell it, you could feel it, we'd reached the point where pretty much anything goes. Who'd have thought? Brian emptied his balls all over Minx's torso. And then it was over. He knew what he wanted, and he'd got it. In full. And then some!
'Thanks guys!'
'Round Two Brian?' Shaking his head, he dressed in about two minutes flat. Corporate Brian was back racing down the stairs, through the door with never a look back. Job Done.
That evening, we got feedback via phone and internet. Brian was very complimentary, apologetic almost. It was almost as if it he was surprised we were two friendly human beings, and not cold, robotic, money grubbing prostitutes. It was as if he regretted the WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAM approach. Our immediate reaction when he left was we didn't really want him back. But later we thought differently. The tryst WAS hot. We DID enjoy it. If we could soften it a bit with a bit of socialising and a bit more 'warmth' things could be even hotter. We don't know whether he'll return, time will tell. And there you have it. Who's next? What's YOUR story? Are YOU a wannabe cuckold? Or a bi-curious newbie? A cross dresser or full on Kinkster? Don't risk going to your grave 'wondering' like so many. Pick up the phone! 07981-726237 is the number you need We're ready to meet horny sex positive men LIKE YOU anywhere in mainland England, Speak soon!  You subscribe to NEWS VIEWS AND SCREWS to learn more about our life as an Escort Couple. YOUR PLEASURE is OUR BUSINESS as we turn fantasy into reality. #WhatDreamsAreMadeOf! We tell you the way it is….and we thank you for your continued support. Until next time, take care, Luv, fun50couple xxx

Do stories like these turn you on? Are you one of those 'wishing'? All we share with you in NEWS VIEWS AND SCREWS is true*!  You, yes YOU, could be participating & enjoying scenarios like these a few short hours from now, anywhere in the UK. So, pick up the phone! Don't be shy. Call Minx TODAY or email us at support@fun50couple.com. See you soon!

* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity.

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